Day 45 – My fight

The Conflict of the Two Natures: Romans 7:14-25

For I know that nothing good dwells in me, that is, in my flesh; for the willing is present in me, but the doing of the good is not…For I joyfully concur with the law of God in the inner man, but I see a different law in the members of my body, waging war against the law of my mind and making me a prisoner of the law of sin which is in my members… (Verses 18, 22)

Deliverance from Bondage: Romans 8:1-25

Therefore there is now no condemnation for those who are in Christ Jesus…For what the Law could not do, weak as it was through the flesh, God did: sending His own Son in the likeness of sinful flesh and as an offering for sin, He condemned sin in the flesh, so that the requirement of the Law might be fulfilled in us, who do not walk according to the flesh but according to the Spirit. For those who are according to the flesh set their minds on the things of the flesh, but those who are according to the Spirit, the things of the Spirit. For the mind set on the flesh is death, but the mind set on the Spirit is life and peace…So then, brethren, we are under obligation, not to the flesh, to live according to the flesh—for if you are living according to the flesh, you must die; but if by the Spirit you are putting to death the deeds of the body, you will live. (Verses 1, 3-6, 12-13)

I am experiencing this struggle that Paul describes so well in Romans. I am learning so many things and encountering the love of God, but still struggling with the same old sins. How can this be?! This happens because sanctification is a transformative process that happens over time.

For this, I really appreciate how IHOP-KC encourages us to define our identity: God loves me and I love God, but I struggle with sin. As God lavishes His love on me, I feel love back towards Him and my hatred for sin grows. I become like the violent men from John 11:12 who are seizing the kingdom of heaven. I commit to love and obey God again. But usually, after only a few short minutes, I find myself sinning again. So I repent and recommit. And then, I sin yet again. And this goes on and on, all day, every day.

Without fail, this endless cycle eventually leads to me feeling frustrated and discouraged. I want to give up, but I know that there are only two sides in this struggle: Jesus and Satan. I am sure that I don't want to change sides, but I'm not sure how to handle my heart given the reality of my struggle with sin. Fortunately several of my teachers have reminded us of another IHOP-KC mantra: "If you don't quit, then you win." I really think that this is an important reminder for me.

It's actually humbling, in a good way, for me to repent over and over again every day. It is my pride that says, "I'm tired of failure. I'm not committing to obey anymore." God hates pride and He's helping me to hate it too (Prov 8:13). If this process will destroy my pride, then I want to embrace it wholeheartedly. My flesh is weak, it's true. But, my spirit is willing and God is making it stronger every day. Again, God seems to be inviting me to embrace my weakness and I commit to saying "Yes" as many times as it takes.