Day 13

One of my favorite prophetic people, Julie Snyder, told me about a picture that God gave her when she was praying for my time at IHOP-KC. I was really blessed by this picture and I want to share it with you.

"I saw a picture of a garden and you were one of Jesus' plants. Blooming the fragrance of Christ were the words written on your plant ID or tag."

Initially, I loved this picture because I have been praying through the Song of Solomon and I like 2:1a, "I am the rose of Sharon." I have been praying that God would make me like a beautiful rose before Him and that He would help me to see myself that way too.

Then this morning, I was reading John 15:1-11. I used this passage of scripture to take the picture of me being one of Jesus' plants even further. I was first drawn to this passage by verse 9:

Just as the Father has loved Me (Jesus), I have also loved you; abide in My love.

I confess that I have a hard time believing that Jesus really loves me the exact same way that the Father loves Him. After all, Jesus and the Father are one. They love each other perfectly! How can Jesus love me the way that His father loves Him?! Obviously, I still need to receive revelation about this reality of God's perfect love for me. Please God, help me to comprehend Your love for me.

I also spent time meditating on verses 2-4:

Every branch in Me that does not bear fruit, He takes away; and every branch that bears fruit, He prunes (or cleans) it so that it may bear more fruit. You are already clean (or pruned like a branch) because of the word which I have spoken to you. Abide in Me, and I in you. As the branch cannot bear fruit of (or from) itself unless it abides in the vine, so neither can you unless you abide in Me.

I believe that I am clean because I am covered by the blood of Jesus. I start from a place of justification, not condemnation. I am Jesus' plant that He loves, enjoys and takes time to cultivate. I am already fruitful in some ways, but some of my branches are unfruitful. More than that, they actually need to be removed because they are dried up and dead. These are the parts of me that are not connected to Jesus, those that are not submitted to His lordship. Jesus is going to gently cut them off and throw them away in order to make room for the branches that are fruitful to be more fruitful and to create space for new branches that He wants to grow. All I have to do in this process is agree with Him through worship and intercession. I choose to receive His love and abide in it. This leads me to life, fruitfulness and joy. Fruitfulness glorifies God and demonstrates to others that I am following Christ. Jesus asks me to stay in His love because He knows that apart from it, I can do nothing. On the other hand, when I stay in His love and walk in obedience, then I can pray effectively, minister powerfully, enjoy God and experience His enjoyment of me.

I think that these dead branches that Jesus is removing are fears that I have had about God not being good in certain areas of my life. Only Jesus knows my secret thoughts and the deep way that they have taken root in my heart. I find it difficult to pursue purity in my mind. People don't know how I struggle in my thought-life unless I tell them. And, I don't do that very often. The Holy Spirit graciously convicts me, but I can choose not to listen or respond. This is also not the first time that I have felt stirred to purify my thoughts. Ten years ago, I went on a summer project with Campus Crusade for Christ and was really encouraged and challenged to change the way that I think. But, I don't think that I felt assured that God loved and enjoyed me the way that I am starting to now. I was striving for purity in my mind, but I became discouraged when I kept failing. After a while, I just stopped trying and told myself that it wasn't really possible to control all of my thoughts. I told myself that as long as my behavior was righteous, then it was OK if some of my thoughts weren't. But, I know that's not true. My thoughts shape my behavior. My unrighteous thoughts are directly connected to my unrighteous behaviors. (Matt 15:18-19)

I really want to pursue Jesus wholeheartedly. I want to love Him with my whole Mind. I want all of my thoughts to be submitted to Jesus (2 Cor 10:5). I hope and pray that I will have a different outcome this time. I pray that I will continue to be rooted and grounded in the love of Christ and that I will be confident that God enjoys me, even in my weakness. I pray that I will remember that He sees me as immature, not rebellious. I pray that the knowledge of His love will give me the strength and motivation that I need to persevere in loving God with my whole mind and every thought.